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سلامة السيد

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الأسئلة المجابة 16054 | نسبة الرضا 98.2%

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انا طالبة لغة انجليزية و طلب منا الاستاذ كتابة قصة...

تم تقييم هذه الإجابة:
انا طالبة لغة انجليزية و طلب منا الاستاذ كتابة قصة و انا كتبتها و اريد منك تصلح الاخطا فيها ادا وجد و ادا في اخطا ف الصياغة غدلهم عادي After a week in a Sunday morning a loud female scream came from the garden of the Orphanage. So people ran there to see what was going on? and who was that girl that bothered us in this a hour of the early morning ? they were so nervous. They had no idea what was waiting for them. He was a little pure boy laying down in the ground with blood covering his entire body. It looked like He killed himself by knife cutting his arteries. It was a horrible view literally. he also left a letter in his pocket " Mom, dad I don't want to be in heaven if you are there." It was the last thing he wrote. "He was bleeding until dead, and according to his case, he died before three hours, at about 5:00 am" The medical examiner said. The boy was named Josh. His was 14 years old. "His parents got divorce before two months. His father was worthless man as most people say and his mother wasn't different. They sent him to the orphanage. So maybe that is the reason why he choosed death to cut all this out." That's what the officers said ,and closed the case. But at that time, Kevin was confused "What the hell is going on ? What's wrong with them? Suddenly, each week someone dies by suicide ,and the wierd thing that all of them have depression! But why they die at the same day and exactly at the same hour !" He had a headache with all these questions . He tried to find answers. He asked them to give him some informations about the recent accedents , but unfortuanally , he was a recent graduated , a young detective , and they have a wrong thought that recent graduators don't have the enough experiences for such crimes . So the informations were just allowed for some certain cops to see , but others can't . Kevin head back to the work and start thinking about another way. After a deep thinking he got an idea ,but it was not easy at all "I have to go there at night, in order to get answers". That was his idea. He waited until the other officers came back to their houses , Also he picked a time to try and sneak a bit at the police records. but unluckily the door opened itself, and there was someone on the door. Kevin shocked purely. Because that one was his manager and one of his collogue "What are you doing kiven ? Are you looking at the police records ? You know you are not allowed you to look at them ! Get out ! from now on, you are FIRE ." The manager said loudly. Kevin tried to explain what he was doing ,but the manager would not listen to him at all. Kevin came back to his house depressed. He got fed up with all those things that happened to him recently. But the more thing he was thinking about how would he tell his father?. His father told him from the beginning do not be a policeman. He laid down in his own bed ,thinking back his dad's words "You are loser. Don't think you can make the world better place". Kevin smiled, and said "Maybe he was right". He stayed in his house about two weeks. He would not speak to anyone as usual even his friends. Until Thursday morning. The door knocked, but he ignored. But the knocked did not stop at all it made noisy.'' who is there'' Kevin said. ''That is me, open it !'' the girl said. Kevin shocked "This voice" Kevin said in his mind, and hurry up to open the door. "Long time no see, Kevin" the girl said. "Yeah, why you are here" Kevin said with startle face. "is this the way how you treat your childhood friend " the girl said.

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إجابة الخبير: سلامة السيد

سلامة السيد

سلامة السيد

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الأسئلة المجابة 16054 | نسبة الرضا 98.2%

السلام عليكم ورحمة  الله،
وشكرا لانضمامك الينا وثقتكم بنا.
عزيزjي، اليكِ تعديل القصة المرسلة من سيادتكم، مع العلم انه مسموح لنا ترجمة أو تدقيق النصوص التي لا تقل عن 500 كلمة غالبية الاخطاء في علامات الترقيم وبعض الأخطاء النحوية.
After a week in a Sunday morning, a loud female scream came from the garden of the Orphanage. So people ran there to see what was going on, and who was that lady that bothered them in this early morning, they were so nervous, and had no idea what was waiting for them. He was a little pure boy laying down on the ground with blood covering his entire body. It seemed he killed himself by knife cutting his arteries, it was a horrible view literally. He also left a letter in his pocket said: "Mom & dad, I don't want to be in heaven if you are there". It was the last thing he wrote. "He was bleeding until he is dead, and according to his case, he died before three hours, at about 5:00 am”, the medical examiner said. "The boy was named Josh and he was 14 years old, his parents divorced before two months. His father was worthless man as most people say and his mother wasn't different. They sent him to the orphanage. So maybe that is the reason why he chose death”, that's what the officers said then he closed the case. But at that time, Kevin was confused, “What the hell is going on? What's wrong with them? Suddenly each week someone dies by suicide, and the weird thing that all of them have depression! But why they died at the same day and exactly at the same hour!", he had a headache with all these questions and he tried to find answers. He asked them to give him some information about the recent accidents, unfortunately, he was a recent graduated, a young detective, and they have a wrong thought that recent graduates don't have the enough experiences for such crimes. So the information were just allowed for some certain cops to be seen, but others can't. Kevin returned to the work and start thinking about another way. After a deep thinking he got an idea, but it was not easy at all, "I have to go there at night, in order to get answers", that was his idea. He waited until the other officers returned to their houses, also he picked a time to try and sneak to the police records. Unluckily, the door opened by itself, and there was someone at the door. Kevin shocked, because that was his manager and one of his colleague. “What are you doing Kiven? Are you looking at the police records? You know you are not allowed you to look at them! Get out! From now, you are FIRED.", the manager said loudly. Kevin tried to explain what he was doing, but the manager would not listen to him at all. Kevin came back to his house depressed, he got fed up with all those things that happened to him recently. But the more thing he was thinking about how will he tell his father? His father told him from the beginning not to be a policeman. He laid down on his bed, thinking back his dad's words, “You are loser. Don't think you can make the world better place”, Kevin smiled, and said “Maybe he was right”. He stayed in his house about two weeks, he didn't speak to anyone as usual even his friends. Until Thursday morning, the door knocked and he ignored, but the knocking did not stop at all it made noisy. ''Who is there?'' Kevin said. ''That is me, open it!'' the girl said. Kevin shocked, “This voice!” Kevin said in his mind, and hurry up to open the door. "Long time haven't seen you, Kevin”, the girl said. “Yeah, why you are here?” Kevin said with startle face. “Is this the way how you treat your childhood friend!", the girl said.
ويمكنك الاستعانة في المواقع التالية لتفقد الاخطاء الاملائية وغيرها
online correction

polish my writing
واليك عزيزتي بعض المواقع لتعلم الكتابة بطريقة صحيحة:
قوانين وآلية كتابة المواضيع

كيفية كتابة براجراف بطريقة بسيطة- فيديو 
يجب مراعاة عدة الاشياء عند البدء بالكتابة
موقع رائع جدا و يقدم لك ادوات لتحسين و تطوير كتابتك للغة الانجليزية
موقع يوفر لك عدة معلومات مهمة للكتابة

كيف تكتب موضوع تعبير باللغة الانجليزية وكيف تنسق أفكارك؟
اكتب باللغة الانجليزية موضوع تعبير بـ10 دقائق بهذه الطريقة
قواعد كتابة موضوع تعبير باللغة الانجليزية – Writing an essay in English


كما يمكنك استخدام جلسات المتابعة معي على الهاتف. إذا كنت ترغب في الحصول على جلسة الهاتف، سيكلفك رسوم بسيطة للمكالمة، اضغط على هذا الرابط لحجز جلسة الهاتف:
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أرجو أن تكون الإجابة على إستفساركم مفيدة وواضحة، ويُرجى إعلامي إذا كان لديكم إستفسارات أخرى. إن تقييم الإجابة من أعلى الصفحة يساعدنا على تحسين جودة الإجابات وضمان تواجد أفضل الخبراء لمساعدتكم.
يسعدنا تواصلكم دائما، و يمكنك أيضا إستشارة العديد من الخبراء على جوابكم، كالمحامين، اخصائيّ التغذية، المهندسون وغيرهم.
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سلامة السيد

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الأسئلة المجابة 16054 | نسبة الرضا 98.2%

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