yes and how do i deal with this loss?

We would like to inform you that it is clear that depression controls you because its symptoms are obvious on you, and you may need to see a doctor first for medical treatment in order to have the ability to change, but you shall modify your thinking because this logic is wrong, you feel guilty, sad, and pain and which you should not feel it because your pessimistic  look at  life. The fact is that death has no reason or age, as it comes at any moment and we can only take a lesson from it. So you shall first start treating depression because it gives you a black look at life and drug treatment is not prescribed except by the psychiatrist and you should visit a doctor and ask everyone around you to help you, and remember there is no shame in expressing your feelings because they suffer for your grief and want you to get out of this status, and you shall help them to get out of their plight, also do not make it worse for them, as I mentioned to you that everyone around you want you be strong even your brother in order to be able to give him what he deserves from you, since he feels sad when you are sad. Your failure to accept death will not change its nature and of course you won't forget your brother but will remember only happy memories, so do not leave yourself a prey for the obsessive and pessimistic thoughts but occupy your whole time so as not to have a lot of free times which allow negative thoughts get into your mind. I advise you to have a volunteer teamwork because it will help you a lot and give you great value for life.