Hi Im in love with a man who loves me back, he...

Hi Im in love with a man who loves me back, he just loves staring at women. I know all men stare, but he stares until the girl looks back and they start having eye contact. I told him i hated this but everytime i confront him he tells me that im crazy and that i am imagining things. I finally found out he was texting a girl he met a long time ago on tinder as if he was single and they were planning a reip together . When I confronted him he cried and said he was wrong and asked me to forgive him. I forgave him because i love him even though this wasnt the first time. But then later at a wedding him and a girl i know started exchanging looks and smiles and then I decided that was it because I can’t trust him or get over what he did with that girl. I left him but i still love him and the fact that he held my dads body when he passed away and that he was there through the whole process makes me not want to lose him. I wanted the guy i will be spending the rest of my life with to have any link with my dad... (my dad passed away in june 2019) i still took the decision of leaving him but i love him and i always miss him and i dont know what to do. Im finding it so hard to stop myself from talking to him. I don’t know what to do and im so emotionally damaged now i dont know what im doing or what im supposed to do with anything in my life.